I’ve been a disciple of the school of doing as much as you can possibly fit on your plate to avoid disappointing people, having to say no to opportunities or potentially missing out on anything in most areas of my personal life. This doesn’t apply to work- where I understand that part of my job is taking on too much and just trying to go with the flow, this is just me personally dealing with things. What I’ve realized over the last couple of weeks is that it’s not making me more efficient, more liked, more money, more adventurous or most importantly- happier. In fact, it’s made me anxious, stressed out, frustrated and burnt out. The complete opposite. I decline invitations to go places because of the items I know I should be doing or that I think I should be doing.
This week I had free time to finish up some projects, but it was like I was at a stand-still. My brain kept telling me that I should be finishing things, checking them off my list… But my body refused to move off the couch and my eyes refused to stop watching the bad movie or TV show. My brain told me to get up and do something while my body walked itself over to the closest chair and my eyes closed. Essentially, I think I’ve created the perfect storm of inaction. I literally couldn’t finish anything. This has been building for a few years now, with trying to accomplish too many things and just never finishing any of them well- and it looks like I’ve come to the breaking point.
In all my inaction, I was able to sort out that I needed to make a change. I’m going to try a new philosophy where the things I do… I do well; I don’t put a half-assed effort into it and just try to do the minimum required so I can move on to another task. I wholly commit and follow through. It could be a dinner with a friend (not checking my BlackBerry), watching a movie with Mr. Roccapuccia (not doing Internet stuff at the same time), walking Gucci (and not feeling guilty about leaving the house when I should be doing something), cleaning my house (and not allowing myself to get distracted and shut down) or even just allowing myself to sit down and watch TV, read a book or relax without feeling guilty. This means not taking on projects or agreeing to any commitments I will not live up to, and this means turning away opportunities that may arise for my own mental health. This week, I am refusing to take on any additional tasks in my personal life which will allow me to dig myself out of the hole of commitments I have already undertaken and agreed to.
Deep breath…
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes, sometimes it’s better to cultivate simplicity. Cut out the fat, and focus on the critical few ^_^…. Shit, I’m starting to sound like Tim Ferris!
This is a nice way to be – when you look at what’s crucial and what’s not you start to realize how many of the things you’re stressing out about are not worth it. Next time you’re 100% committed to reading you should check out ‘the 4 hour work week’ and ‘slow is beautiful’.
-MB